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They can't all be Mofo days

My library just accepted delivery of a donation. The entire Photo morgue of our primary local newspaper. 16 pallet loads of carefully boxed up newspaper photos going back to the 20s, it's the largest single donation of materials we've ever gotten. It's going to be years of work to catalog and digitize everything, but oh what a resource for local history. BRB, squeeing in a library approved fashion.

Elevator rides are not a finite resource.

Times when it is appropriate to hold the elevator.

1. When somebody is currently coming toward the elevator with the intention of getting on.


Times when it is not appropriate to hold the elevator.

1. When you and your friend are leaving, but he still has to log off the computer, gather his stuff, put his stuff in his backpack, pick up his backpack, put down his backpack, pick up his phone, pick up his headphones, drop his headphones, pick up his backpack, pick up his headphones again, drop his phone, pick up his phone again, and finally walk toward the elevator.

2. When you and your friends have been studying are leaving together and some of you are walking toward the elevator and some are still in the study room gathering up their stuff and talking and then one guy turns and goes back in the study room which causes another friend to go back and everyone but you is back in the study room and they're all talking and the door is closed and now it's open but one guy is pulling stuff out of his bag and they're still talking and another guy comes out but then goes back in and the door is closed again and the elevator is making seriously angry noises now and they're all still talking and...

Seriously students of the area, if you don't want to be embarrassed by the elevator bonging at you and throwing a fit and refusing to do anything but open and close the door for 5 minutes because you held it too long, and you don't want to be further embarrassed by me rather sharply lecturing you about elevator etiquette, don't try to hold the elevator when it's blindingly obvious that your friends are not actually going to be ready to leave until sometime in the next century. I know you’ve been holding it for a while, but... Look, just Google “Sunk cost fallacy” OK? And do it away from the elevator.

All Staff Training Day

Not all of this is Mofo worthy, but the day was very draining and had sprinkles of suck throughout. Very lengthy. If nothing else, please scroll down to the bolded bit near the end, where I sum up the staffing situation.

Today was loooongCollapse )
I'm sorry I can't give you an exact year when prehistoric people started living in our state, but that's literally what Pre Historic means, before written records of history. I'm sorry you're not satisfied with "About 12 thousand years ago." but until we invent a time machine that's as close as you're going to get. Yes I can give you the phone number of the local university's history department. No, I swear to dog they are not going to be able to give you an exact year either, but maybe they can convince you to come in and take a class or 50...

cleaners who don't clean!

How come the plumbers who were fixing a leak in the restrooms can mop up their mess and leave the place CLEANER than the actual cleaners? As in, they got the balls of fluff out of the corners, cleaned behind the toilets and under the rubbish tin! Sigh. Sometimes this library looks ... grubby.

pet peeve #79

Patron who requests, like, 50 books on CD, which all arrive over a span of a day or two; then the patron comes in, picks up 7, then cancels the other 43. Which they put back through the sorter, and all have to verified by hand to make sure all the CDs are inside. Oh, and the patron took the time to remove the hold label, presumably to look at the CDs (what, do your eyes emit frickin' laser beams?) and then put it back on instead of just throwing the shit away like everyone else. We don't need the label to know who's returning those bloody self-improvement BCDs, it's always you! >:(
Dear person who took about twenty different books and reshelved them randomly in our graphic novel section, thus necessitating a forty-five minute search for the mis-shelved books and fifteen-minute reshelving process by an already overworked page:

No jury will convict me.


We've recently been told that within the next year, we will be changing to a new ILS - Polaris. We currently use CARLX and have been using some version of CARL for the past 20 years. Anyone have any words of wisdom? We are a major metropolitan library system with umpty-ump branches.

Filter fuckery (more so than normal)

A quick head's up for anyone who's system uses Lightspeed for their internet filters. The company recently added a new filter category (which they claim was requested by users) for violent extremism. Naturally they rolled it out without you know, telling anyone about it, and naturally it’s automatically on. We found out about it when a librarian helping a patron tried to go to the Nation of Islam website and discovered that it was blocked because of course it was. Further investigation found that the KKK website was not blocked because of course it wasn’t.

Our IT department jumped on it, found out from the company about the recent addition and told them to opt us the fuck out of it because unlike the schools they claimed had requested the filter, our internet use policies can in no way support that kind of filtering. I wanted to get the word out because this is the kind of thing that can be a very unpleasant surprise for a librarian trying to help a patron.

Second week as a Librarian, first MoFo.

I haven't been seen around these parts in a while, mainly because I was working in support services and wasn't on a public desk a lot which doesn't lead to many interesting stories. But time marches on and what with one thing and another I'm officially an associate librarian as of last week. (no degree, just 18 years of experience) Today I was officially, um... baptized? as a librarian with my first serious Mofo, so I figured I'd dig up my account and share.

A bit of personal info, I have mild cerebral palsy and a slight speech impediment, not much but I stammer a bit particularly when talking on the phone. This will be on the test...

Got a phone call "Do you have X book?" and it seemed straightforward except that the patron sounded annoyed from the start. I looked the title up and confirmed that we had a copy, then asked the patron if they'd like us to hold it at the desk. She snapped "Yes I'd like you to hold it at the desk" in a nasty "God I can't believe I'm having to say this" tone. Of course this made me more nervous so when I asked her for her name I stammered more than normal. She then mockingly said "Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh Uh" mumbled something else (I think "Idiot") and hung up without giving a name.  I seethed a moment, then retrieved the book and put it behind the desk with "No name given" on the slip. After hearing what happened my co-worker at the desk advised me to not set the book aside but I figured I didn't want someone else to have to go through a Mofo moment of their own when the book wasn't there.

This isn’t my first bad phone experience related to my speech impediment, and I once had a patron call me a “retard” to my face when I was discussing a fine with her, but this is my first time as a librarian, so yeah.

20 years till retirement...

Authority Record

the fuck
The Society for Librarians* Who Say "Motherfucker"
For all of those times when the gatekeepers of the world's knowledge are called upon, in their professional capacity, to use the word "motherfucker." Or at least to seriously consider it.

*Open to librarians; library associates, specialists, technicians, and paraprofessionals of all kinds; library school students; library aides and volunteers; and all of those who love libraries, or even just love a particular librarian. Welcome.

Date Due

October 2016


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