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So in the land of not-really-a-mofo-but-what-the-hell, someone just handed me a fork.


A fork.

A metal fork.

That they had apparently found underneath the computer desks.

That had clearly been used recently.

I do not know how it got there. I do not want to know how it got there. I do not care if whoever put it there wants it back, it is not going in the lost and found. It is going in the trash.
So, why do the people who visit our libraries the most often always seem to have the most to complain about?

We have a few at ours: Tax-Dollar Guy, Children's Room Hater, Man who Complains about Coughing. They've always got something to say, and only rarely is it positive.

One of our patrons is this lady, who I'll just call "wut." because that's often my response when she starts talking at me. This April Fool's Day, one of the head librarians posted that NPR article on our Facebook page for funsies and "wut." decided to share her two-cents, to which she received two awesome replies:


The first from my director, and the second from my coworker. It is highly appropriate because I haven't checked out a book to "wut." in months, but she's using our computers all the time.

I haven't seen "wut." since then, and I wonder if she'll find the need to complain to me about my coworker so I can tell her that I'd have said the same thing.

Also: read the dang article!

No one enforcing rules, ARGH

Today one of our full time circulation staff was *actively* peer pressuring one of our student workers to break a rule (technically set by the reference librarian who 'manages' the student workers but does no day-to-day interaction) because "who cares" and well, everyone else does what they want, so why does it matter, amirite? Needless to say, the student appropriately said "no thanks". But I sat there and was mortified on everyone's behalf and felt really disenfranchised to say anything about it because I only pinch hit on the desk 5 hours a week.

The stupid part is that the rule isn't exactly something special to our workplace. It's a standard practice that's been the rule at every other library I've worked at.

The frustrating thing is that it happens with a bunch of other stuff all the time-- And then the students do their own system gaming to the point where I'm just surprised we even bother to check the books out to people anymore half the time. And when I try to follow the written rules, I'm afraid that I'm the one that comes off looking like the out of touch 'mean one'. Although, to be fair to the students, when I do things like check out stuff that normally isn't bothered with, no one gets in my face too much about it.

So I've started letting certain things slide as well because at this point I'm just like "the culture here is too entrenched and I don't think I'm equipped for this fight". And with our almost paranoid level of "students MUST BE HAPPY AT ALL COSTS ALSO JUST FLY UNDER THE RADAR/DON'T PISS ANYONE OFF, EVER, KTHNX" mentality, I'm afraid to rock the boat and say "hey, if we don't enforce these rules we look like ineffectual weak managers" and I'm not sure that saying "hey, we don't seem to enforce rules x, y,z, should we maybe consider getting rid of them if they're not working for our customer service vibe?" because honestly I'm afraid it'll come off sounding horribly passive aggressive or insulting. Which, I mean, no one is doing their job, really, so it is kind of insulting? ARGH. What do you do????

I don't even know what to bother getting bothered about anymore.


Dear Mofo,

We strive to be helpful. You asked for a back issue of the paper, and a librarian found it. The other librarian heard you ask about making copies. Anyone on staff would have helped you with that--the librarians or someone at circ right next to the copier.

But no. You tore up the front page to get what you wanted and left the paper with that section hidden for me to find on the table later. Thanks.

No love from us.
Dear big boss of all the big bosses,

If you have just sat through a presentation on our LibQual survey results that tell you that our academics care about having subject specialists in the library, why do you then claim it doesn't matter to them who they talk to?


Our academics care about access to books/journals and having subject specialists. So our leadership team are getting rid of subject specialists, and cutting the materials budget

Mar. 26th, 2014

Dear publisher
All of the books in your series on planets have exactly the same ISBN.

I think you've entirely missed the point of the ISBN. It's not just on the back cover, but on the verso as well. I could understand it one place, but both???? *sigh*

No love, me.


Dear coworkers,
If a computer is black and the screen doesn't turn on when you press the spacebar or click the mouse, please, for the love of God, make sure the MONITOR IS TURNED ON before you mark the computer out of service. This has happened TWICE in the last month, which is at least two times too many.
No love,

Ugh, no. Just go away.

When my coworker tells you to make your tiny child stop pushing your even tinier child's stroller around the library, do not argue with her over whether your tiny child was running or just "walking fast." Make your tiny child sit the hell down before the stroller tips over and your even tinier child's tiny little head hits the floor.

Both tiny children were fine, but still. Less arguing, more parenting.

What we'll do to hook readers...

Pics of the Day: Librarians at work cleverly promoting books.

Holds are holds, not skipping stones

Dear Coworker,

Holds are holds are holds. I bothered to place a hold on a new item I wanted. Why in the world did you override the hold and check it out to Head Librarian first? It's not a research orientated item; it's a pop culture item.

If Head Librarian wanted it, she needed to place a hold on the item. Chances are I would've said "Oh, check this out; I have enough reading on my plate."

Your very annoyed coworker. 

Authority Record

the fuck
The Society for Librarians* Who Say "Motherfucker"
For all of those times when the gatekeepers of the world's knowledge are called upon, in their professional capacity, to use the word "motherfucker." Or at least to seriously consider it.

*Open to librarians; library associates, specialists, technicians, and paraprofessionals of all kinds; library school students; library aides and volunteers; and all of those who love libraries, or even just love a particular librarian. Welcome.

Date Due

April 2014


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