Well, exuuu-uuuse me!
So this guy comes in just now, and asks about the bag, which was turned in to security about 45 minutes ago. When I told him it was at security, he said, "Why would you take it over there?" He seemed extremely agitated.
I told him it's the library's policy to turn all lost items over to security.
He says, "It was not lost. It was left here in the library."
And he turns on his heel and leaves.
I felt like saying, "Listen, you little shit: next time I'll throw it out on the quad and tell you it was 'left' out there."
Hey, maybe there was something (ahem) interesting in that bag...