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Why Spell Check is your Friend.

A female undergrad walks up to the desk for help.

"Hi, I'm looking for anal tourism research."  She says.

I could not have heard her correctly.

"Um, what?"  I reply.

"I'm looking for anal tourism research."

Like Thailand and Vegas? "I think there is a typo."  I counter.

"No, my professor was very specific about anal."

I don't ask if there was an oral exam. "We can take a look, but I don't think that's right."

"Please?  Anal research is important, I need it bad."

I start searching in the catalogue, typing in ‘annal’ to end this.

"It's anal, A-N-A-L.  Anal was at the top of the list of the things he wanted."

I bet it was.  "We don't have it under that listing."

"Well, how can I get Anal Tourism Research?"

Some Barry White, some K-Y, some minor discomfort.

"How about we try some variant spellings?"

"But I want anal."

"Please trust me on this."  I don't want my boss to walk over while she shouts "I want anal!" again.

"Here we go, Annals of Tourism Research."
"But, anal..."

"Is something very different."

I could see the dawning in her eyes as she made the connection.

"I, anal, oh my god."

"Is there anything else I can help you with?"


Even when coeds are begging for me to give them anal, I'm still a professional.


( 35 comments — Leave a comment )
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May. 24th, 2007 12:52 am (UTC)
Can I Metaquote this?
May. 24th, 2007 12:55 am (UTC)
What's metaquote?
[uncataloged] - altoidsaddict - May. 24th, 2007 12:56 am (UTC) - Expand
[uncataloged] - shiara_ - May. 24th, 2007 03:37 am (UTC) - Expand
[uncataloged] - altoidsaddict - May. 24th, 2007 05:37 am (UTC) - Expand
[uncataloged] - shiara_ - May. 28th, 2007 04:05 am (UTC) - Expand
[uncataloged] - altoidsaddict - May. 28th, 2007 04:32 am (UTC) - Expand
[uncataloged] - maryzamoc - Jul. 16th, 2008 02:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
[uncataloged] - libraryninja - May. 24th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
[uncataloged] - alexewyso - Jul. 16th, 2008 07:01 am (UTC) - Expand
[uncataloged] - mariahuxoja - Jul. 17th, 2008 01:24 am (UTC) - Expand
[uncataloged] - gemmawasyl - Jul. 13th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 24th, 2007 01:23 am (UTC)
Bwahahah! oh yes, surely you ARE a professional! GReat Story!
May. 24th, 2007 01:28 am (UTC)
hahah! this is so freaking funny.
May. 24th, 2007 01:37 am (UTC)
ROFL! I can' believe you handled that so calmly. Props to you. And this definitely gets my vote towards the next mofo of the month prize. (although not exactly a mofo...)
May. 24th, 2007 01:52 am (UTC)
hahaha! L M Anal O!
May. 24th, 2007 02:19 am (UTC)
God I would not have been able to contain myself. Especially with someone screaming "I want anal" at me. Jesus.
May. 24th, 2007 02:31 am (UTC)
You are indeed the consummate library professional. No pun intended. LOL!!!
May. 24th, 2007 03:26 am (UTC)
May. 24th, 2007 04:20 am (UTC)
I'm thinking of an episode of "The Family Guy"
Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house you have to clean it.
May. 24th, 2007 04:22 am (UTC)
You have the willpower of a god. I don't think I would have survived that.
May. 24th, 2007 05:37 am (UTC)
Oh god. I needed that laugh so much.

This post is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.
May. 24th, 2007 08:18 am (UTC)
This grad student that worked as a senior library asst used to ALWAYS refer to Annals as Anals - she just could not ever say Annals. We had to shift all the journals and she would say 'We have to move ANALS OF MARINE RESEARCH'. It drove several of us nuts.
May. 24th, 2007 02:32 pm (UTC)
This made my day, and goes directly to my all-time hall of shame.
May. 24th, 2007 02:40 pm (UTC)
Love it. It's one of the instances I would complete my work with the patron, run to the back and laugh it out.

Thank you for the morning laugh!!
May. 24th, 2007 06:40 pm (UTC)
There is so much fucking GENIUS in this interchange that I can't even begin. I agree with altoidsaddict: the whole damn thing needs to be metaquoted. INstantly. :D
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( 35 comments — Leave a comment )

Authority Record

the fuck
The Society for Librarians* Who Say "Motherfucker"
For all of those times when the gatekeepers of the world's knowledge are called upon, in their professional capacity, to use the word "motherfucker." Or at least to seriously consider it.

*Open to librarians; library associates, specialists, technicians, and paraprofessionals of all kinds; library school students; library aides and volunteers; and all of those who love libraries, or even just love a particular librarian. Welcome.

Date Due

September 2018
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